She is Married
by Trinilynn
Summary: Pepper is married but not to Tony Stark. Six months later she returns to Stark Industries as CEO. Can the two avoid each other for the greater good?
1. The Wedding

She is married

I watch as she smiles shyly at her new husband as they dance around the ballroom. Everyone turned up to see their beloved friend and coworker get married. She was a symbol of pure beauty, a summary of all things still good, pure and innocent in this mixed up and twisted world. I remember when that goodness intermixed with my life making it brighter, first in small increments. She leaves flowers at my parent's gravesite, always bringing me black coffee with two spoons of sugar, no cream, rubbing my back those first few nights when I could not sleep after I returned from Afghanistan. In bigger events, in Monaco and the Stark Expo when I was fighting for my life against that Russian psychopath or against Obadiah Stane on Stark Industries premises.

This is why I could not stop this event she deserves freedom, happiness and just a general peace of mind that I cannot provide or will not try to provide. I am Iron Man, my duty is to the world its security comes before my happiness and keeping her near would only end in tragedy.

I jump slightly at the sudden sound of a champagne bottle opening it is soon drowned out by the chatter of the crowd, the insipid giggling of the bridesmaids and the upbeat sound of the live band. She is alone now stealing a small piece of cake from the dessert bar. I get up from my seat at the very back of the hall; a hand rests on my shoulders, not trying to halt my intentions just to warn. I glance back at Rhodey sitting in his formal dress uniform; I give a slight nod and he releases my shoulder. I walk along the edges of the hall avoiding the crowds, coming to a halt behind the blushing bride. I stand silently waiting for her to notice me taking yet another moment to absorb her beauty. She is poking absently at the cake with the fork; she stops her actions then turns around and looks directly at me. I know I didn't make any sound that she would be able to hear over the live band, it's as though she sensed me behind her, looking at her. This was a joke Rhodey constantly made over the years that I am starting to believe slowly but surely. We are connected somehow on a different level.

I extend my arm taking the plate from her hand and placing it on the table; I look her directly in the eyes, grasping her hand as I escort her to the dance floor. The music plays softly in the background; I grip her hip bringing her close to my body. Her skin feels like silk, soft and smooth. She lifts her chin and looks me in the eye as we begin our slow spin across the floor. The room falls away and all that exists in my world is her and this dance floor, her eyes hold me captive, I am trapped, I cannot look away. The room blurs and I lean forward holding her tightly memorizing the feel of her against my body one last time, smelling her hair, feeling her skin, knowing I will never hold her in my arms again. I hear a strangle groan that comes from either her or me it does not matter. I step back and for the first time I notice her husband Nick, Nigel, Norman or whatever his name is, I look back at her I smile and say all the appropriate things that I cannot remember now. I turn and walk away before I do something I regret before I say something I swore to myself that I would not. I hurried out the exit knowing Rhodey was on my tail, knowing she would be safe and happy, knowing that tomorrow I will put on the suit and have to go save the world. What I did not know was when I started to cry.

The love of my life just pledged loyalty, love and faithfulness to another man. She is my heart and my soul the beginning and the end. I cannot survive in this world knowing she is gone from it, I will not survive. This is the reality I have chosen and I must survive in because I am Iron Man and the world needs me and I need her to live.


	2. The Honeymoon

The Honeymoon

I hear the insistent buzzing of my blackberry on the nightstand. I ignore it at first wanting to remain in my blissful state of sleep. My dreams are filled with a dark haired man with sad brown eyes; he sits at his desk in the workshop. He is arguing with his hapless robot Dummy while an almost preteen boy laughs mirthfully. From my viewpoint the robot has spilled oil on his favourite t-shirt. I move closer to the two trying to make out their faces, they seem familiar yet strange all at once. I feel as though I should know them. I bump into a piece of machinery hanging precariously from a work table. Tony continues to argue with the robot but the boy he looks directly at me. My first thought was that he had the bluest eyes I have even seen, not since my brother. But unlike my brother his eyes were sad, sad blue eyes with dark hair. I feel I should know him. The boy with the sad blue eyes turns toward me and smiles.

"What are you doing here?" the boy asks in a strangely cheerful voice. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the emotional situation of the room's occupants, happy, angry and confused, if dreams were a reflection of your conscious state then what a state I must be in. "You should not be here yet, it's too soon" He remarks casually unaware of my internal dilemma.

Before I can formulate a proper answer the room slowly becomes fuzzy the voice of the dark haired man arguing with the robot fades. The young boy continues to smile at me. I come to the conscious world very gradually, slightly confused as to my strange surroundings. This is not my bed, my covers or my home. A soft groan from the warm body next to mine startles me a bit, it is then I remember that I am a married woman now. The man turns over repositioning himself closer to my torso. He rubs his face in the small smooth curve of my neck. His faint minty breath tickles my nose. I look down at the blonde haired man slowly running my fingers through his hair giving it a slight tug making sure that this was my reality. His response is to burrow deeper into my side seeking warmth and comfort.

"Aren't you going to get that?" he asks in a sleep muffled voice.

"Its 2am here let them leave a message" I reply in a voice that I hope sounds equally sleepy. I do want to raise anymore unnecessary questions as to why I am unable to sleep.

"Yeah but as you always tell me it could be important" He replies in a much clearer voice.

I watch as he repositions himself on the bed burying deeper into the pillows, I look at the phone on the night stand one last time. Its facedown sliding across the surface, I stare at it for a few moments. It stops buzzing and I let out a sigh turning over wrapping my arms around his back, twisting our fingers together. His pale skin stands out in the darkness set off by his blonde hair. He is the complete opposite of the dark haired man of my dreams. He is reliable, safe and will not try to get himself blown up on a daily basis. He is kind and wants to have children and settle down; he wants me to be happy. He is not a billionaire, he is not Iron Man. He is not Tony Stark. I stay awake for a few minutes longer, running my hands slowly along his back.

I awaken a couple hours later just as the sun peeks over the eastern horizon. I roll out of bed making certain not to disturb my sleeping companion. I go the bathroom and quickly refresh myself, shucking my negligee for an old t-shirt and running shorts. I sit down on the bed to pull on shoes, my phones sits immobile on the nightstand; I can see the reflection of a green light against the shiny surface indicating a new voicemail message. I turn the phone over to see a missed call from Tony. I get up from the bed; my husband turns over his hair mussed up from sleep his voice scratchy.

"Going for a run babe?" he asks quietly

"Yeah just a quick one will be back before breakfast" I lean down to peck his forehead

I grab my phone and leave the room glancing at his sleepy lopsided grin one last time. Walking along the beach I finally feel far enough away from my husband to check the message. True to his word I have not heard from Tony once during my honeymoon. Today would be day 14, directly in the middle of it. I knew it was not an emergency or else the call would be from Jarvis or worse Rhodey. I bring the phone to my ear to listen.

"Hey Pep where did you go? I am at this new club you have to check out. It is full of so many people but not you none of these women are you Pepper. Why aren't you here with me? Don't you know that you are all I have?" I can hear the slur of intoxication in his words. I adjust the phone volume to prevent myself from being deafened from the background music.

"I never got to tell you how beautiful you looked on your wedding day, how much I wished I was the lucky son of a bitch getting to take that dress off of you." I grip the phone  
tighter knowing I should end the call but I swallow my fears and keep the phone to my ear.

"Even now I wish it was me holding you, kissing you and staring at your breasts while eating lunch in some restaurant in Italy" His speech is drifting and slowing down as though he is falling asleep. "I wish I was him Pepper, isn't that something? For the first time in my life I wish I was someone else, someone who could keep you safe, shower you with attention, someone who is good enough for you." He drifts away on the last statement; I hear the thrum of the club music for a few seconds longer then silence. I sit on the beach staring into the distance; the sun is almost fully over the horizon. Try as might to prevent my thoughts I know in my heat that I wished he was here too.


	3. The Ceremony

The Ceremony

The pre wedding ceremony events had been going on for the last two hours. The wedding party pictures began promptly at 90 minutes prior to the start of the wedding and finished 45 minutes before the ceremony. I watch as a harried wedding planner herded the Potts family into the open air garden lining up the family for the photos. It was a sea of red hair, from a deep russet colour to the bright red of a fire engine. The men stood in the back watching everyone while the kids ran and played all but ignoring the poor wedding planner.

An older woman emerged from the auditorium; he could recognize the elder Mrs. Potts anywhere. An older more stern, if that was even possible, version of Pepper. She said a few words to group and they all lined up for the picture. They are finished in twenty five minutes and are then ushered into the hall to be replaced by the other family. This group is far smaller, far more solemn in comparison to the previous rambunctious Potts tribe. They listen to the photographer smile politely and are gone from the garden in less than ten minutes. I sit in my basement staring at the screens displaying the garden; it is a cool day not a cloud in the sky. June 24th, so far I survived 12 hours the worst day of my life.

"Tony! Hey, Tony where are you man?" Rhodey asks from the top of the basement stairs. I stare at the screen for a bit longer. I can hear his shoes clicking across the floors as he approaches my chair. He stops a few paces away from me.

"Did you reroute one of my drones?" Rhodey asks in a disbelieving and disapproving voice.

"Uh yeah I needed it for a few minutes or hours." I say absently,

"What? Tony I am begging you please stop doing things that would upset National Security." Rhodey adjusts his tie dropping into a chair next to me.

"National Security, really you do know that I am Iron Man right?" I sink deeper into the chair curling my toes absently.

"Forget national security I can guarantee Global security, Galactic security too, not many other people in this world can claim that!" I say smugly turning away from best friend. I am trying to be upbeat hoping to deflect the forthcoming emotional questions. It almost worked too, almost.

"Ok Mr. Avenger, why did you reroute my drone thousands of miles off its position observing an active war zone?" I can hear the smugness in his voice relishing in the fact that I was caught with my hand down my pants.

"Just playing big brother" I clear my throat trying not to meet his eyes. The drone focuses on a large building with an extensive garden and atrium. A few large white tents are visible; the drone flies low giving a perfect view of a few workers still arranging the last of the floral decorations. Rhodey exhales a deep breath; I know he is looking at me expectantly wanting to but just not sure how to broach the topic.

"Why did she invite me, Rhodey?" I rise from the chair putting on my jacket and I try not look at him.

"Maybe she needs closure as much as you, just her closure did not involve upsetting my job!"

"Fine since it so important to you I will put it back"

"Jarvis return the drone to its previous mission" I say quietly sitting down in my chair again to pull on my shoes, it creaks lightly under the new pressure. I need to remember to replace that.

"Returning drone to the co-ordinates 32.0162° N, 71.6926° E." The AI says in a clipped tone.

I stand up adjusting my belt as a team of small cameras surround me, projecting an image of me on the screens. I adjust my hair turning my back to Rhodey

"Tony you ran one of the most extensive background checks on a man in modern history, I thought you got some closure there." He moves from the chair to stand next to me his image invading the cameras. I ignore him still admiring myself in the mirror.

"You know you don't have to go today, what you guys had was something special and…."

I interrupt him before he even finishes the thought. I cannot bear him rehashing those memories right now; I just want the remaining twelve hours of this day to end so I can go back to my life. I have not been able to think straight since someone delivered the invitation to the house. I wanted to burn it so many times, but what did I expect I told her to move on. Now why do I feel like an ass just because she listened to me, for once in her life.

"I have to go, she invited me, Rhodey" I adjust my jacket as I walk out of the basement laboratory and into the garage area.

"Jarvis don't wait up for me okay"

"Certainly Sir"

I get into my Audi waiting two beats for Rhodey to get in the passenger side.

"Don't worry about me, I got this" I put the car into gear speeding out of the garage.

The wedding party is dressed, ready and waiting outside the doors of the hall patiently awaiting the start of the ceremony. A white stretch limo sits on the curb the quiet hum of the engine disturbing the sereneness of the garden paradise. Rhodey and I are under a tree a few feet away waiting for the party to enter the hall. I tell myself I don't want to disturb the wedding party's walk in since we arrived after the designated seating time. But I know that I just wanted to be the first to lay eyes on Pepper before everyone else especially her fiancé. I want to steal that small joy from him. He wouldn't know nor would he care but to me it was a small victory.

The musical prelude starts quietly in the distance signaling the start of the ceremony the doors open and the wedding party start their processional. The limo door opens and the chauffeur exits making his way around to the far right hand door facing the main doorway. I lean forward expectantly; I want to see her in all her beauty. Her father approaches the door extending his hand, because of my angle I have to wait for her to emerge fully from the vehicle. I watch as her father tells her something then smiles warmly. She emerges a beautiful angel all in white with red hair, absolute perfection. I look at the back of her head calmly willing her to look at me. I need to see her face for one moment, to see her happy again. She looks at the few stragglers from the bridal party waiting for their turn walk down the aisle, waving slightly. I take one step away from the tree willing her to look at me, my eyes boring into the back of her head.

"Please just turn baby, look at me one last time"

She grips her father's hand and they turn toward the door, I can hear the live band playing in the distance. She starts to walk up the aisle. I turn my back on the entire scene unable to bear the fact that I am outside watching her walk away from me. I look at the parking lot, feeling Rhodey shift beside me waiting patiently.

"We going in or what?"

"Yeah" I clear my throat "yeah let's go"

_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God. It is therefore, not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly. Into this holy estate these two persons come now to be joined._

I sit in the back row craning my neck to see her face. I am sad I can't see her face but I take pleasure in staring openly at her ass.

_"Who gives this woman to this man?"_

_"I do"_

I am twisting my hands now, why didn't I bring my tablet; I need to do something with my hands before I explode.

_"If any person here can show cause as to why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."_

My eyes are glued to the floor, my hands are sweaty and I take quick short breaths in an effort to remain calm. I glance at Rhodey; he looks me in the eye for second and starts to lift his hand. I grab his hand wrapping my arm around his neck pulling him close. He struggles slightly but I tighten my hold around his neck. The moment passes in silence with some members of the congregation chuckling slightly. The priest looks around the room again and then resumes with the ceremony. I look to Pepper and she is smiling at the groom, she looks gorgeous. A quiet choking sound alerts me to Rhodey who is still in my grasp. I slacken my hold on him grinning sheepishly; he angrily shoves me off the rest of the way. I slide over to the very end of the pew my eyes moving from a disgruntled Rhodey to the soon to be happily married couple.

_"I Virginia Potts, do you take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband, and in the presence of these witnesses I vow that I will do everything in my power to make my love for him a growing part of my life." _

_"And will you continue to strengthen it from day to day and week to week with your best resources? Will you stand by him in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth, and will you shun all others and keep yourself to him alone as long as you both shall live?"_

_"I do"_

I am tugging absently at my tie; I feel the sweat gathering on my forehead and under my jacket. When did it get so stuffy in here? I contemplate how much of an interruption it would cause if I open one of the windows so I could breathe.

_"The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. It is an outward sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two hearts in endless love. And now as a token of your love and of your deep desire to be forever united in heart and soul, you may place a ring on the finger of your groom."_

_ "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you."_

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you." I quietly repeat after her, in my own pathetic way imagining myself on the altar.

_"You may now kiss your wife"_

I look away shutting my eyes as they lean toward each not opening them until the entire room is empty. Rhodey left to watch the couple takes photos in the garden. I sit all alone on the wooden pews, realizing that I have never been more alone in my entire life.


	4. The Job Offer

The Job Offer

It was one week after I returned from my honeymoon that news of Tony Stark invaded my little happy marriage. I dissolved into a fit of tears upon hearing that the reckless billionaire had wrapped his Audi around a pole on Hollywood Boulevard and had to be airlifted to a nearby hospital. I sat in the bathroom all night alternating between crying and swearing. While I watched the updates on my phone via the CNN online stream, intermittently calling Rhodey for status reports on his condition.

I was too distraught to face Nate the next morning feigning illness as my reason for the night stay on the bathroom floor, he wanted so desperately to see me before his flight to Seattle. So I alluded to the fact that I may be pregnant, he was so pleased with this statement that I could feel it through the mahogany door. After some time I was finally able to convince Nate to leave, telling him there is nothing he could do for me really at this stage. He reluctantly departed feeling ten feet tall with the hopes of a child a secure future on the horizon. I finally passed out on the floor from a combination of hunger and exhaustion. I woke up some time after finally pulling myself off the floor to take a shower, refusing to let the news of Tony's passing meet me a sobbing dirty mess.

Waiting is the worst part of the process, made even worse because any news I got was second hand and delayed. I wanted to go to the hospital; I put on my shoes, picked up my purse but just couldn't open the front door. As the day dragged onwards I developed a pattern, feel sorry for myself and check the various news channels for any more updates. The media was having a field day speculating that Tony had been attempting to kill himself that night. Eye witnesses claim that he hit the pole head on without trying to swerve or brake. I didn't believe this reasoning for second but I did get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Late evening two days after the accident I answered a call from Rhodey telling me that he was out of critical condition.

A broken leg, four broken ribs and a severe cut on his forehead was all he managed to escape with, well along with his life. The doctors had induced a coma for the swelling on his brain to decrease. He was a very lucky man indeed. I spent the rest of the night periodically crying with joy over his luck and cursing mine for not being with him through this ordeal. At least he has Rhodey and Happy to lean on, I on the other hand have no one. In this break-up Tony got the friends, all of my friends well, the few who still called thought I was insane for getting romantically involved with the reckless billionaire. Although they tried to conceal it they were overjoyed when Tony ended things, told me it is for the best and I should try move on. Twelve days later Nate returned, it was the same night Tony woke up from his coma. I couldn't even muster the courage to tell Nate why I was so depressed, he assumed my sadness came from not being pregnant and I let him. He held me all in his arms while I cried all over his silk night shirt.

It has been over four months since Tonys' last public appearance. Following the accident he has retreated to his Malibu home leaving the company to run itself, without an Obadiah Stane or Pepper Potts type person at the helm the company was starting to suffer from neglect and mismanagement.

I look across the patio table at Nate, enjoying my home cooked meal of Thai noodles and shrimps in spicy tomato sauce. He has a newspaper in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, with his glasses sitting cutely on the edge of his nose. It is dark outside our home, the chilly night air ruffles some fly away strands of my hair as we enjoy a candle light dinner date on the balcony of our high rise apartment. The last six months of marriage was truly blissful despite what most married couples described, but if I am honest with myself I don't feel content, happy but not satisfied with my new role in life. Right now I am a financial consultant for a small law firm dealing with environmental and human rights law. Do not be mistaken I get a sense of fulfillment from my work but it's not the same. The workload is nothing in comparison to what I have grown accustomed to in SI. I turn my head toward the view; I shiver slightly as though the atmosphere suddenly dropped to sub degree temperatures. Taking a deep breath I look at my husband.

"I am thinking about going back SI" I say absently pushing the vegetables around my plate.

Nate is silent for a moment taking a moment to digest my statement; I look back down at the plate in front of me, fidgeting in my seat. He takes another sip of wine placing the crystal glass on the table then clears his throat lightly. I look up at him again as he folds his newspaper calmly then he leans forward on the table dropping his chin so he can look me in the eye above his spectacles.

"Is that such a good idea?"

"Well the company is where I got my start and Phyllis the HR Manager all but begged me to come back this morning. So I thought why not, I can be a consultant or I can take back up my old position as CEO."I say calmly

"Yeah I know you have history there, I just don't want you to get back into that place. Not after all that has happened in the last few years or so."

He sits back in his chair looking out into the darkness then finally back at me.

"You left the company for a reason back….whatever the reason, it left you broken and damn near suicidal." I look down at my plate again trying not to get angry and blow this situation out of proportion.

"I don't understand why you want to go back to that place, explain it to me"

We both sit in silence for a few moments; I want to tell him it is because if I sit in this house for one more day I will snap. I want to tell him that I miss the feeling of being needed or the rush I get during hostile takeovers, mergers or just travelling the world on business. I want to tell him it is because the Human Resources Manager is panicking since Tony has fired forty-two Personal Assistants since my retirement from SI three years ago, with the vast majority of the group losing their employment status during the six months following my nuptials. I want to tell him that it is because Tony has renewed all his previous deviant behaviour with a passion not seen since his parent's deaths. I want to tell him that I miss the hapless billionaire and I fear for his safety and general well being.

I want to tell him that a part of me hates Tony for letting a company that took decades and two generations of Starks to build slowly dissolve over time. I cannot let this happen; I refuse to let this happen. This is the reason I end up telling Nate why I have to go back, this is reason I tell everyone when I turn up at work the following morning.

Sitting behind my desk the next day with a ton of paper work in front of me I begin the slow process of stabilizing the company. Maybe one day I would admit that I miss Tony, but not today I am here for the company and nothing more.


	5. The Breakup

The Breakup

Three Years Ago…..

I never wanted to hurt her. I stand there numb, the silence in the room is deafening. In the distance the ticking of the old grandfather clock presses heavily on the ears. The crackling of the wood in the fireplace echoes eerily in the still room. A cold drafts enters the room from an open window ruffling the edges of my hair which hangs uncombed on my forehead, the rough edges tickling the healing scratches on my face. The old Stark Estate always full of cheer and happiness, it seemed fitting to be here to do this action. It reflects the mood of the act so well, so cold, distant and aloft from the real world. We have been living in a fantasy world, it is time to come back to reality, finally accept our fate and the consequences of our actions, my actions more than hers.

I slowly wrap my arms around myself in a pathetic move to ward off the cold, to ward off the pain. I look at her standing there her back straight her head bowed gripping the small coffee table on the other side of the room tightly. I can see her shoulders shaking slightly either in fear or pain. Either one or both I know I am the source, the culprit, the villain. My body is numb; I want to believe it is because of the endless amounts of non- prescribed painkillers Pepper forced me to take after the fall, after the attack. But I know despite my fractured ribs, dislocated shoulder and throbbing head the source of this numbness is emitting from my breaking heart.

"You can't be serious" she whispers as if afraid of her own voice.

"Tony please, do not do this" her voice quaking, the room is so silent.

The world has taken a deep breath, it is so unobtrusive that I can hear the tears in her shaky breath, building at the back of her eyes burning, trying to force their way to the surface.

"Not to us" she sniffles slightly, her resolve is breaking with each passing second

"After all we have been through you are just going to end things?"

She turns her face toward me I can see the golden colour of the fire dancing cross her features. The freckles on her face are more pronounced her hair is on fire, my Aphrodite, my Venus, my heart. Seeing her so distraught, so vulnerable makes me almost go back on my word, almost.

"I am not going to apologize for myself Pepper, nor will I change who I am." I turn toward the window gritting my teeth as I hear her start to cry more freely.

"The world needs a savior right now, and if not me then who?"

I turn to walk toward the door before I go back on my words, before I give in to my basic needs to hold her in my arms and tell her everything will be alright. Before Tony Stark, the Invincible Iron Man starts to cry brought down by a weeping woman.

"Tony stop, wait please!"

My hands are on the brass doorknob when I hear a thud followed by shattering glass. I stop abruptly turning towards her. She is lying flat on her stomach on the ground sobbing; the bandages on her legs are growing damp with her blood. Her left leg had a few torn ligaments, a couple of cuts and first degree burns just above the ankle which made the leg stiff and mobility difficult. She could stand essentially just not walk without aide or excruciating pain. I turn to look at her on the floor helpless like a turtle on its back.

She is sobbing now pulling herself across the floor trying to reach me. My hands are shaking violently my entire world spinning anticlockwise on its axis. I hesitate again asking myself for the millionth time if there is another way. But I am a scientist I have weighed the pros and cons of the situation. Collaborated, quantified and calculated every possible conclusion, each result more gruesome than the last. I know that if she stays with me she will not survive, it will only be a matter of time before I am killed or worse she ends up dead. I will not survive if that happens; I refuse to even conceive of it. I know what I must do, for the last two months I have known and have accepted my fate. Now she must too. I summon all my courage and look at the woman crawling across the floor.

She is almost halfway across the room now; I take pity on her walking slowly my head in a fog. I reach just before her, looking down on the broken form. Her hair unkempt a tangled mess on her head. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy from the insistent crying. She is flushed her face a contorted in an unsightly mask of pain. I look away guiltily knowing that I am the source of this pain. She reaches me eventually, her long slender hands wrapping around my ankle. The delicate finger nails digging into my skin, I welcome the slight sting desperate to accept any pain from her, repayment for the pain I am inflicting on her heart.

"I love you Tony, my life does not make sense without you in it." She releases a strangled sob.

"I will not let you leave, I am begging you do not leave me alone, please!" she rests her head on the floor her voice failing her, she dissolves into more sobs.

It is then that I somehow find my strength; I look down on her shaking her hands off my ankle.

"I will call Happy to take you home, goodbye Pepper" I turn quickly walking as straight as I can manage to the door.

"Tony please, wait don't leave me please!" She is sobbing loudly now. I close the door with a quiet snick.

I stumble into my father's old study the throbbing in my head making a steady comeback. I have not been in this room in over a decade not since Pepper begged me to return to the house on the fifth anniversary of their deaths. Too many memories associated with this room, some good and others darker, more remorseful. I sit behind his desk in the plush chair feeling like a boy wearing his father's shoes again, trying them on, trying to walk but failing and finding myself lacking. I pull open the top desk draw finding a pair of gold keys; I get up clumsily like a drunken man on a mission, the injured portion of my body throbbing in retaliation to the awkward movements. The painkillers obviously wearing off, I walk over to the cabinet trying to retrieve the good scotch. My hand shaking too much to fit the key in the lock, I stop giving a sigh, between the pain in my side and the aching of my heart I grow angry and before I know it my fist is through the glass.

Moving aside the broken pieces, uncaring about my fingertips, I retrieve an old bottle from the front shelf, I sit down next to the broken cabinet pulling off the cap with my teeth. I drink deeply from the bottle welcoming the burn in my throat and my side. These few shorts moments of blinding pain I welcome as a punishment, I am not a godly man but I feel that I must atone for my sins. The wrongs I have committed against my love and mankind. I slump to the floor the pain becoming more unbearable, I imagine I can still hear her sobbing, it is painful and pressing heavily on my ears clawing at my soul. I pull a bottle of pills out of my pant pocket. Flicking it open with my thumb, trying to pour as much pills into my mouth as can fit giving my odd sideways angle and stinging fingertips. I wash the pills down with another few mouthfuls of scotch I eventually embrace the far away feeling of the painkillers as I separate myself from my body, from reality and from her.


End file.
